can christian married couples use sex toys
I had a conversation with my pastor a few weeks ago about whether or not Christian married couples can use sex toys. Oh, I was so embarrassed! Everyone in the room was staring at us and I had to explain the question as if it were something I’d asked every day. I think most people in the group were stunned and curious about how he would answer it.
The pastor did a great job of explaining that sex toys are not only permissible, but can actually be an asset in a healthy Christian marriage. He began by talking about how God created us to have intimacy and pleasure in our sexual relationship. He said that as long as it’s within the boundaries of marriage and shared mutually between partners, there’s nothing inherently wrong with using sexual toys.
But the pastor certainly wasn’t advocating that we all rush out and buy a variety of vibrators and dildos! Instead, he gave us some great advice on how to approach it. He said that it’s important to communicate and discuss it with our spouses, prayerfully and with respect. Furthermore, he suggested that we should make sure we pick items that are designed to enhance intimacy, not distract us from it.
Then, the pastor encouraged us to use common sense. He urged us to purchase items from a reputable company and pay attention to the materials toys are made from. Of course, all safety precautions should be followed — and sex dolls keep things away from children and animals of course.
The pastor concluded by saying that it was important to remember that sex is intended for pleasure and enjoyment. He argued that, if done correctly, sex toys can be an amazing asset for deepening our relationships with our spouses. He reminded us that that although sex shouldn’t be seen as a chore, some couples experience a desire for new things and a desire to be creative together.
The pastor’s really reassuring words helped me see that sex toys can be a good thing for Christian married couples. I want to take his advice and really research the options before introducing any type of sexual novelty to our bedroom. I’m excited to explore the possibility of spicing up our sex life, but I’m also mindful that I need to be aware of what kind of toys we choose.
I feel like I have a much better understanding now of how to approach this topic with my spouse—we can be intentional and rational about adding sex toys to our relationship. It need not be intimidating or awkward, and if communicated openly and honestly, it could even bring us closer together.
One suggestion the pastor had was to start with something simple, maybe a different lubricant or massage oils. These are easy to introduce and relatively affordable. We can chat about it, and if we both feel comfortable with it, then start slowly by experimenting with some simple options.
As the pastor reminded us, being able to discuss such topics can even deepen a relationship as the conversations will build understanding, trust, knowledge and exploration. It’s important for us to be aware of our own comfort levels and respect each other’s boundaries. This is why communication is paramount.
We can look into reviews, articles and advice, and decide on what would be the best thing to buy without putting pressure on ourselves. We could even browse some stores we’re familiar with for some ideas. The perfect toy is out there, and we just need to find it.
The pastor encouraged us to take our time and be gentle with ourselves as we explore our options. It could be quite exciting to slowly increase the spice factor in our bedroom and see if it brings new levels of intimacy.
At the end of the day, it’s all about taking some time to be creative and experimenting responsibly! I’m looking forward to exploring sex toys with my spouse and enjoying spicing things up a notch!